MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING FOR DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND SEXUAL ASSAULT.
I’ll confess that I have not read the book. With all the excitement about the new trailer, I thought I’ll read just one chapter online to see if it is really as bad as people claim it is. Guess what, it’s worse. In fact, I don’t know why this book hasn’t been banned, it is dangerous. These are excerpts from Chapter 16. I’m completely horrified by it, because Anastasia makes it clear again and again that she does NOT like what Christian is doing to her (I’ve made bold all those parts).
He hits me again and again, quickly in succession. Holy fuck it hurts. I make no sound, my face screwed up against the pain. I try and wriggle away from the blows […] He hits me again… this is getting harder to take. My face hurts, it’s screwed up so tight […] I cry out again. “No one to hear you, baby, just me.” And he hits me again and again. From somewhere deep inside, I want to beg him to stop […] He gently strokes my hair. I’m on his chest again. But this time, I don’t have the strength to lift my hand and feel him. Boy… I survived.That wasn’t so bad. I’m more stoic than I thought […]I remember him saying – I can’t remember when – that I would feel so much better after a good hiding. How can that be so? I really don’t get it […] I can’t say that I enjoyed the experience, in fact, I would still go a long way to avoid it.
[…] I don’t want him to beat me, is that so unreasonable?
I close the door and stand helpless in the living room of an apartment that I shall only spend another two nights in. A place I have lived happily for almost four years… yet today, for the first time ever, I feel lonely and uncomfortable here, unhappy with my own company. Have I strayed so far from who I am? I know that lurking, not very far under my rather numb exterior, is a well of tears. What am I doing? The irony is I can’t even sit down and enjoy a good cry.
“How did you feel while I was hitting you and after?”
“I didn’t like it. I’d rather you didn’t do it again.”
“You weren’t meant to like it.”